Crying???

So I was lying in bed the other night in my usual "sleepless" mode....and I was suddenly overcome with the urge to cry. It was a brief episode and it came from memories of my aunt, who passed away in November of last year.

It occurred to me, after I calmed down, that I haven't cried a lot in the last few years. I mean, I have little weeps now and then, but the big wailing cry that is cathartic just hasn't been there...and I don't know why. As we get older, does the ability to express grief become a more matter of fact thing? Keeping our emotions in check...is that something that we think is more appropriate? For my part, I would like nothing more than a good cry. So why haven't I expressed the grief that I have endured over the last few years....

Maybe, in some way, we feel our own mortality, and thus don't want to dwell on the inevitable for too long.
I really don't know.

One day, I'm sure, there will be a trigger and the floodgates will open. I only hope that whom ever is in the area (if there is anyone around) they have ear plugs, a good solid shoulder that doesn't cramp up and a clean shirt....'cause it may be loud and long and wet!!!
On the other hand....I may just grab a stack of towels and howl by myself.

Slainte!