Car Accident

I'm okay and so is the other driver but my poor little red "Ginny" is in the repair shop. She bled out all her transmission fluid in the middle of a cement barrier on 20oth Street. A car turned into my lane in an intersection and to avoid hitting her I went up onto this barrier. I came nose to nose with a yellow and black stripey post thing. The crunching underneath me was terrible. For a few days I will be driving a blue Yaris from Hertz. The other driver admitted responsibility for the accident. She swung wide to miss the curb as she turned onto my street and she didn't see me. I did have the green and I wasn't going fast. I may take me awhile to settle down inside though. I hate car accidents!

Saying No

Today I said no to something. I actually wrote an email and told a committee chair that I wouldn't do a job anymore. It is so hard for me to say no. In fact, I also quit another club at the same time. I'm trying to take some pressure out of my life. I wonder if it will work. I'm not telling my DH yet as he will have too many questions. I just want to quit these things and not talk about them to anyone.

The Cat Came Back

My DH came home, or should I say, I dragged him home? You see, I was supposed to pick him up from the bus stop a few miles from our house at around 11:30 p.m. I had to go to work the next day, and 11:30 would be late for me, but doable. I got there, it was just pouring cats and dogs, but he wasn't among them. I mean the bus stopped and he didn't get off. The bus started to take off again and I went running after it, waving my arms and shouting - you forgot my husband! Crazy driver never even turned around. So, what to do, what to do? We had discussed the possibility of his plane being late and that I might have to drive down to Bellingham to pick him up, but I sure hoped it wouldn't come to that. One person did get off the bus, I asked him if he had heard that a plane was delayed. He told me he did overhear talk that the bus was emptier than it was supposed to have been. I decided not to go home and check for messages, I would just try to find that airport.

Initially I had driven him down there and watched the signposts carefully so I could retrace my steps if need be. That was from a small border crossing east of us. Right now I was in sight of the truck crossing to the west so I decided to try that route. Surely airports are well signed and I would find it easily, even from here. Luckily I carry my passport in my purse so I didn't have to go home for that.

At midnight borders are pretty easy to cross. The guard asked me the purpose of my late night trip and when I replied that I was going down to rescue my husband from the airport, he gave me directions - turned out wrong, but at least he was friendly. Three wrong turns later, sightseeing in dark rural Washington, I finally found the airport. I parked, went in and found DH quietly reading a book. He seemed totally oblivious to any trouble and quite confident that I would find him and bring him home. How deluded can one man be. It was a total miracle that I found him.

DH was too tired to drive home, so we made two more adventurous wrong turns the other way, but at last we crossed back into our motherland. At quarter to two, I finally laid my head on my pillow and went to sleep. Cozy and warm now that my cat was back.

The alarm rang at six.

Things Fall Apart

Right now it's my ear. It feels plugged and annoys me something awful! However, no one can tell why. I've been to the doctor, the audiologist and the ear, nose and throat specialist. Still no answers. My own voice reverberates inside my head so badly I hardly want to talk and for me that is a real disaster. Nasal sprays did zilch. My hearing is apparently in the normal range. There are no visible or obvious lumps or tumours anywhere. So, now my last hope, the ENT guy, is sending me back to the audiologist. Maybe he/she will send me back to my doctor and I'll have gone full circle. Every-time I go from one doctor to another there are several months in between. Argggg! On top of it all I'm quite dizzy at times. It's all connected I'm sure. Is there any way they can diagnose troubles in the ear without cutting a person open?

Gardening

It's only March, but the weather says - GARDEN! So, today I potted up a lot of plants that are growing in my yard and that I don't want. These will be good for the plant sale I'm having in May. So far, for shrubs I will have the burning bush, laurel, small maple and small fir for sale. For herbs I'll have lemon balm, oregano, pineapple mint, dill, summer savory, woolly thyme, marjoram, chives, basil, and maybe some stevia for sale. For perennials, I have lily of the valley, irises, peonies, a decorative grass and a whole bunch of others I forget right now and some I do not know the names of. In the annual category, I'm trying out decorative corn, blue morning glory, a white flowered vine, nasturtiums, sweet peas and a pink flower - again, I forget the name. In the vegetable category I will have scarlet runner beans, cucumbers, tomatoes, peas and maybe more. What do you think, does that sound like an okay plant sale or do I need more? What would add to this mix that I could still get going before the end of May?

Gray Hair

Do we dye or do we not dye - or do we (as I do) put in a rinse.

I just had my hair cut and wow, am I ever gray! So, off to the drug store for my regular 'Linen', non-permanent colour rinse. I do toy with just letting it be. In some kinds of lighting I look blond, but in others, like the hairdresser's, it's very gray. The advantage of the non-permanent colour is that I don't get the definite line of gray roots showing, and if I do let it go for awhile it doesn't really look that bad - or am I deluding myself?

The Cat's Away

When the cat's away, the mice will play - what to do, what to do?? DH went away for the weekend and I have the house all to myself. It is now 12:30 a.m. and I'm still up, the TV is on and I just played a computer game. I don't want to go to bed. I knit more on the blanket and checked all my baby seedlings. I can hardly keep my eyes open but I don't want to go to bed. Am I a kid or what? LOL

Dark Poem

Years after my dad had died, I had a really sad dream. When I woke up, I wrote this very dark poem and left it in his antique metal box until now, 19 years later.

Dad's dead
It's been five years
Still
He comes to me at night
My chest hurts so
Why can't I tell them?
Why must no one know?
My sister comes
He turns and runs across the moor
so she won't see
I wake
and cry
and cry
and cry
Cause Dad's dead.

- Daphne

Knitting

I'm knitting a white blanket with little hearts all over it for my new grand-baby due in May. I've made many mistakes in it, but my mother would have said - that's life. So true. The local knitting expert here said "they're not mistakes, they're features". I like that.

This is the second white blanket I have knit. The first one, over eight years ago was for my first grandchild. I was knitting it while I visited with my mother who was then in respite care. She would stroke it and comment on the softness of it. I wrote a poem about that time. One person I loved was leaving me and a new one was coming into my life. I thought it deserved to be memorialized.

61 is just around the corner for me. My dreams for 60 fell a little flat and then I had a vision. I can't remember where or when it happened but it has had a profound impact on me. I saw myself from others eyes. Maybe I was viewing my own funeral, I'm not sure. Anyway the love and admiration was flowing and I was accepting it. That in itself is quite something. I had been bemoaning the fact that I hadn't accomplished anything of any great significance in my life and then all of a sudden I see all these people whom I have known through the years and they think I'm wonderful. Perhaps the most amazing thing about the vision is that I totally accepted the admiration and love of others. All my barriers were down. I actually allowed myself to feel it. When it was over, I had changed. I see now that my whole life has had great significance. God made me and He has been working in and through me all along. I can't go back under that shadow of self-doubt and recriminations.

Recently I was visiting with a terrific woman who is a budding artist. She had accomplished much already but I could see that she was under the shadow of self-doubt. I could hardly believe it as I considered her so talented and just a great person. I didn't say it but I thought to myself - she needs a vision.