A grandson's visit......

Recently we had the unexpected yet totally welcomed visit by our son and daughter-in-law and our grandson. The reason the occasion was so special is that it was the first time our grandson had visited us. It was a totally joyful occasion. We got to see things through a child's eyes again...and for an older person, that is truly exhilarating.....plus the fact of course, that we love him to bits!!

We visited the Wildlife Park, and took a ride on the little train, and saw the animals,...but the highlight of the visit for Jay (apart from playing with Papa's model trains) was a ride on the heritage steam locomotive. We found out that our grandson is passionate about trains. He is only 4 years old, but so full of enthusiasm for everything railway!! Luckily Kamloops is a railway hub and so one can see, hear and feel the trains all around town.

All in all it was a perfect weekend....exhausting but wonderful nonetheless. After they headed home, DH and I looked at each other and said "I'd forgotten how active little children can be!!" ....and I'm sure our offspring are thinking..."Get used to it Mom and Dad...there will be more to come!!"

We welcome it with open arms!!

Slainte!

Prayer - no preaching here!!

First of all this is not a preachy post......it's just an objective view of the value of prayer in my everyday life.
I don't pray on a regular basis....I don't even go to church on a regular basis.......as the saying goes (with regards to church)...been there, done that, not sure I want to do it again.
Both our children attend church.....I used to and DH did for a while..... under protest.
However, it is my contention that whether I go to church or not, I can still pray to The Big Guy upstairs. Accordingly He loves everyone, whether you go to church or not.
I have found that praying helps me get through stressful times.....I know, I know...the purists out there would say that I only pray when I need His help....but isn't that the point?? You may consider Him to be in your life on a daily basis, reading, listening, talking, writing etc....but..... praying is something you do when there is something specific you want Him to pay attention to....especially for a non-church goer.  At least that's my take on it. 
I do not pray publicly or even out loud.
Prayer for me is intensely personal and as such remains silent.

As I get older .....for me....prayer works.

Slainte! 

Hot weather....

To my mind there are definitely pluses and minuses to reeeeally hot weather.....such as we are having now....about 31 deg. Celsius. We have had hotter weather 35 deg.C. and up (and apparently we will be getting that on Tuesday) but the following list pretty much applies to everything over 30 deg.C.

Pluses

1. Sun is light and Vitamin D and both of those are good we're told
2. Mediterranean herbs grow like stink in hot weather (which is of interest only to any of us who grow Mediterranean herbs). 
3. Clothes dry in about 30 seconds when you hang them on the clothesline (provided you can bear to be out there spending time in the heat hanging out clothes)
4. Your afternoons are spent lounging on the sofa reading chick lit. (read romance novels with some drama)and drinking Perrier until dinner when you drink cool white wine.
5. You can go bra-less at home, wear baggy pants and a camisole and birkenstocks.....sort of like the 70's......or was it the 60's. Who cares!!  You will be cool while being *cool* (as in 70's cool....or was the 60's?)
6. You can get your hair cut really short and coloured about 4 different colours and do it all in the name of being "summery"!! (But then because we're over 60, we'd probably be able to do that any time of the year and get away with it because we're weird old ladies!)
7. The dog has to be walked very early in the day....air is fresher and it gives you time to wake up! (Oops, I mean it gives DH time to wake up!!) 
8. A lot of BBQ food.....or for that matter a lot of cold food....which definitely isn't a bad thing.....especially if it's not me doing the BBQ'ing. I'm just sitting inside enjoying my cool white wine, having leisurely prepared the snacks and salads....some of which I am consuming with my cool white wine....

Minuses

1. You can't sit outside....period. 
2. You're banished to the cool basement (or in my case the ground floor)
3. Any outdoor concerts without shade are out of the question. 
4. The dog has to be walked very early in the day....no sleeping in for you...oops....I mean no sleeping for DH!!
5. Your afternoons are spent lounging on the sofa reading chick lit...longing for dinner when you can drink cool white wine.
6. When you do go out, sun hats are almost mandatory as is sunscreen
7. You actually have to wear clothes when you go out in public.....constricting HOT clothes. (When you're our age, mini-shorts and tiny tanks are not on the cards unless you've been exercising like stink and have the body of a 24 year old!!)
8. Unless you have central air conditioning or a reversible fan in the bedroom....sleep comes amidst a tangle of sheets, twisted pajamas, the buzzing of a few stray mosquitoes and a very toasty little dog on the bed. (unless, of course you don't have mosquitoes....or a toasty little dog....or for that matter sheets or ....OK.... lets not go there.....

So I'm sure I could, if I put my mind to it come up with many more things to add to the lists (but it's just too darn hot!).....but you get my drift. It's pretty equal.....but I'm still not sure I'm a hot weather person. That's why  it's highly unlikely for me to be seen in a hot weather country. I'm a west coast woman....partial to the moisture that the ocean provides, be it through weather or paddling at the beach. Give me a green rain-soaked country any day......it must be my Irish ancestry :-)

However....there are some interesting places to visit in Italy and Portugal....hmmmmmm


Slainte!!

PS: These views are subject to change if the weather gets cooler by a few degrees.....:-)

Gardening response......

Apropos of the previous post on gardening....I feel I should post this little bit of wisdom which arrived in my email box this morning from Real Simple.....

“Gardening is about enjoying the smell of things growing in the soil, getting dirty without feeling guilty, and generally taking the time to soak up a little peace and serenity.” ― Lindley Karstens

I've just come in from the garden and agree totally....:-) 

Slainte!!

Gardening

My arms ache! For two days now I have seriously worked in my garden and it needs a lot of help. Yesterday I worked in my favourite spot, the northwest corner. Here I have three raised beds of vegetables to keep up but the really great thing about this corner is that it is so private. Tall fences close in two sides and shrubbery and trees lay about the other two sides. There is a stone path into this area and a tap to use for watering the plants. From this spot, no one can really see me and I could sit here and read or paint or just listen to the birds all I like. Today I'm going to lay down some black cloth to keep the weeds down in-between the beds. As I age, it is getting harder and harder to do this kind so serious gardening but I don't want to give it up. Now I need to learn all the tricks I can to make gardening easier.

To sleep or not to sleep.....

So I have come to the conclusion that I almost dread going to bed at night.....and not for any other reason except I have sleepless nights more than I have sleepful nights....(is that a word....??)

There is nothing worse than lying in bed on your back with your eyes wide open totally unable to drift off. I would much rather wake up early in the morning because then I can at least DO something without causing too much disturbance (like watering the garden or just sitting on the patio...we're talkin' summer here). However, at night, you're pretty much limited to reading until you're so uncomfortable you can't do that anymore, working at the computer, which revs up the brain even more....or just lying on the couch or whatever, hoping that sleep claims you eventually. I stay up as late as I dare, hoping to be tired enough to drop off....but that doesn't always work.  I read in bed before I turn out the light to kind of slow me down a bit....but if it's a good book, you always lie there wondering what was going to happen next after you turn out the light.....at least I do...then my mind starts working and devising possible scenarios.... at which point I get up to find out what really happened!!

I know it's an FM (fibromyalgia) thing but it's intensely annoying and frustrating. I try to empty my mind from all things stressful before I hit the sack, but somehow they all start sneaking back once the light's out....and THEN...if you're awake when the peripheral noise starts (read snoring from both DH and dog!) then it's game over.....time to vacate the bedroom and find something else to wear out your mind before you sleep. I have been known to stay awake for entire nights and the following day and then literally fall into bed and sleep the night through. Funny thing tho'...when I have a sleepless night before a symphony concert, I tend to play better because I'm forced to concentrate to the max. I hurt like the dickens afterward but hey.... it was great concert!!!

Doctors will tell you that you should regulate your sleep patterns.....I will tell you....let them try it. Sleep medications are not on for me....I go for a cheese snack or vanilla almond milk or yogurt or Rooibis tea, chamomile tea, catnip tea, and even Horlicks. Sometimes they work, but I think when push comes to shove, it's the time element that essentially works. The longer I stay awake, the easier I'll eventually get to sleep.....
Goodness...just writing about this makes me yawn!!

Sigh.....such is life!!
)
      >     0..zzzzzzzzzz
)

Slainte!!

Mammograms.....

So I had my bi-annual mammogram yesterday and all I have to say about it is:
1. It's not nearly as painful as before
2. The machine is much smaller and less intimidating
3. You use your own clothes instead of the paper or cloth wrap thingies that you either throw away or put in a laundry hamper.
4. It's fast

So all in all not the entirely unpleasant experience it's been renowned for...
Such is progress....
... so ladies....put it on your schedule if you haven't already!!

Slainte!!

Some interesting reading......

I have recently read a book called Health at Every Size by Linda Bacon. There is a lot of science involved in it, but there is a message and an idea that I have taken away from it.

Diets don't work, never have, never will. Healthy eating, listening to your body's signals and keeping moving is the key to being comfortable with your body.

I am weaning myself off dieting and it's a challenging task. I'm listening more to my body and how it feels, eating slower, savouring and enjoying my food,  exercising regularly and in general being a more comfortable and happy person.  I may not ever be a skinny person, but I will be a content person without the stress of worrying about my body image.

...and as I get older, the less time worrying about that...the better!!!

Slainte!! 

A little sit in the garden....

DH and I were out planting seeds and cutting rhubarb today......me with my cane and he with his elbow band....oh we are couple of crocks!!!There are a load of plants sitting in DH's workshop under lights that I want to get into the garden, but the night time temperatures here are just a tad too cool. It looks rather like a jungle in his workshop!!

So I took a short break, and sat on the warm stones of the terrace in the sun and thought..."How glad I am that the warmer weather is coming". Sitting there, watching the cat roll in the catnip with the dog watching in a slightly bemused way, I felt at peace with the world.

Nice big sigh!!......

Slainte!!

Crying???

So I was lying in bed the other night in my usual "sleepless" mode....and I was suddenly overcome with the urge to cry. It was a brief episode and it came from memories of my aunt, who passed away in November of last year.

It occurred to me, after I calmed down, that I haven't cried a lot in the last few years. I mean, I have little weeps now and then, but the big wailing cry that is cathartic just hasn't been there...and I don't know why. As we get older, does the ability to express grief become a more matter of fact thing? Keeping our emotions in check...is that something that we think is more appropriate? For my part, I would like nothing more than a good cry. So why haven't I expressed the grief that I have endured over the last few years....

Maybe, in some way, we feel our own mortality, and thus don't want to dwell on the inevitable for too long.
I really don't know.

One day, I'm sure, there will be a trigger and the floodgates will open. I only hope that whom ever is in the area (if there is anyone around) they have ear plugs, a good solid shoulder that doesn't cramp up and a clean shirt....'cause it may be loud and long and wet!!!
On the other hand....I may just grab a stack of towels and howl by myself.

Slainte!

Gym or not to gym.......

So...after a nasty bout with a cold/flu virus which laid me low for a couple of weeks.....I started back at the gym this week.

I was uncertain as to how I would approach this....I originally decided to go back primarily because I'd already paid for it and wanted to get my money's worth. However, while I was driving down to the gym, I felt surprisingly light-hearted and pleased to be going there again. Admittedly, I had to scale back my routine to it's original state to accommodate my rather less than spectacular energy level.....but nevertheless, it was enjoyable.

I have found recently that I seem to be a tad obsessive about how I go about my exercise routine. If things interfere with the order in which I workout....I get stressed out and spend my time on the recumbent bike worrying about whether "my space" will be taken up by some other lady doing her workout. Sigh......so this time, I went into the whole experience with a new attitude....take what comes and deal with it. No stress, relax, listen to my MP3 player (loud to block out the rock music from the gym speakers!!) and try to mentally organize my day....with lots of space for me!! Going to the gym is pretty much necessary for me, but.....it HAS to be a good experience...otherwise, it's usefulness is limited. I like the idea of going to get fit....but I'm thinking that doing the exercise goes a long way to combating depression and other angst.

I shall keep it up and gradually increase the level back to where I was when I got sick. I am limited to what I can do...so most of my exercises are strengthening....along with the recumbent bike.

Wish me luck!!

Slainte!

ICBC

The other driver now says that she was simply stopping at the accident site as a witness and that she had nothing to do with the fact that I wound up on the cement barrier. ICBC says that since I didn't touch her car, it is only my word against hers but they seem to be giving her words all the weight.

She gave me her license plate number, her Driver's license number, her name, her phone number. What witness would do all that? None that I know of. A name and phone number would be all a witness would ever think of giving out.

At the scene, this lady was really nice. We even gave each other a hug. She took responsibility. She apologized and told me that she hadn't seen me. I believed she was the person she was portraying herself to be. I should have helped her be true to herself by getting her to admit her guilt to someone else while she was still in truth mode and no one else had gotten to her. Now she'll have to live with having changed her tune.

I'm sure there is a lesson in here somewhere. Now, in our 60s, life is too short for games. I want to be real.

Car Accident

I'm okay and so is the other driver but my poor little red "Ginny" is in the repair shop. She bled out all her transmission fluid in the middle of a cement barrier on 20oth Street. A car turned into my lane in an intersection and to avoid hitting her I went up onto this barrier. I came nose to nose with a yellow and black stripey post thing. The crunching underneath me was terrible. For a few days I will be driving a blue Yaris from Hertz. The other driver admitted responsibility for the accident. She swung wide to miss the curb as she turned onto my street and she didn't see me. I did have the green and I wasn't going fast. I may take me awhile to settle down inside though. I hate car accidents!

Saying No

Today I said no to something. I actually wrote an email and told a committee chair that I wouldn't do a job anymore. It is so hard for me to say no. In fact, I also quit another club at the same time. I'm trying to take some pressure out of my life. I wonder if it will work. I'm not telling my DH yet as he will have too many questions. I just want to quit these things and not talk about them to anyone.

The Cat Came Back

My DH came home, or should I say, I dragged him home? You see, I was supposed to pick him up from the bus stop a few miles from our house at around 11:30 p.m. I had to go to work the next day, and 11:30 would be late for me, but doable. I got there, it was just pouring cats and dogs, but he wasn't among them. I mean the bus stopped and he didn't get off. The bus started to take off again and I went running after it, waving my arms and shouting - you forgot my husband! Crazy driver never even turned around. So, what to do, what to do? We had discussed the possibility of his plane being late and that I might have to drive down to Bellingham to pick him up, but I sure hoped it wouldn't come to that. One person did get off the bus, I asked him if he had heard that a plane was delayed. He told me he did overhear talk that the bus was emptier than it was supposed to have been. I decided not to go home and check for messages, I would just try to find that airport.

Initially I had driven him down there and watched the signposts carefully so I could retrace my steps if need be. That was from a small border crossing east of us. Right now I was in sight of the truck crossing to the west so I decided to try that route. Surely airports are well signed and I would find it easily, even from here. Luckily I carry my passport in my purse so I didn't have to go home for that.

At midnight borders are pretty easy to cross. The guard asked me the purpose of my late night trip and when I replied that I was going down to rescue my husband from the airport, he gave me directions - turned out wrong, but at least he was friendly. Three wrong turns later, sightseeing in dark rural Washington, I finally found the airport. I parked, went in and found DH quietly reading a book. He seemed totally oblivious to any trouble and quite confident that I would find him and bring him home. How deluded can one man be. It was a total miracle that I found him.

DH was too tired to drive home, so we made two more adventurous wrong turns the other way, but at last we crossed back into our motherland. At quarter to two, I finally laid my head on my pillow and went to sleep. Cozy and warm now that my cat was back.

The alarm rang at six.

Things Fall Apart

Right now it's my ear. It feels plugged and annoys me something awful! However, no one can tell why. I've been to the doctor, the audiologist and the ear, nose and throat specialist. Still no answers. My own voice reverberates inside my head so badly I hardly want to talk and for me that is a real disaster. Nasal sprays did zilch. My hearing is apparently in the normal range. There are no visible or obvious lumps or tumours anywhere. So, now my last hope, the ENT guy, is sending me back to the audiologist. Maybe he/she will send me back to my doctor and I'll have gone full circle. Every-time I go from one doctor to another there are several months in between. Argggg! On top of it all I'm quite dizzy at times. It's all connected I'm sure. Is there any way they can diagnose troubles in the ear without cutting a person open?

Gardening

It's only March, but the weather says - GARDEN! So, today I potted up a lot of plants that are growing in my yard and that I don't want. These will be good for the plant sale I'm having in May. So far, for shrubs I will have the burning bush, laurel, small maple and small fir for sale. For herbs I'll have lemon balm, oregano, pineapple mint, dill, summer savory, woolly thyme, marjoram, chives, basil, and maybe some stevia for sale. For perennials, I have lily of the valley, irises, peonies, a decorative grass and a whole bunch of others I forget right now and some I do not know the names of. In the annual category, I'm trying out decorative corn, blue morning glory, a white flowered vine, nasturtiums, sweet peas and a pink flower - again, I forget the name. In the vegetable category I will have scarlet runner beans, cucumbers, tomatoes, peas and maybe more. What do you think, does that sound like an okay plant sale or do I need more? What would add to this mix that I could still get going before the end of May?

Gray Hair

Do we dye or do we not dye - or do we (as I do) put in a rinse.

I just had my hair cut and wow, am I ever gray! So, off to the drug store for my regular 'Linen', non-permanent colour rinse. I do toy with just letting it be. In some kinds of lighting I look blond, but in others, like the hairdresser's, it's very gray. The advantage of the non-permanent colour is that I don't get the definite line of gray roots showing, and if I do let it go for awhile it doesn't really look that bad - or am I deluding myself?

The Cat's Away

When the cat's away, the mice will play - what to do, what to do?? DH went away for the weekend and I have the house all to myself. It is now 12:30 a.m. and I'm still up, the TV is on and I just played a computer game. I don't want to go to bed. I knit more on the blanket and checked all my baby seedlings. I can hardly keep my eyes open but I don't want to go to bed. Am I a kid or what? LOL

Dark Poem

Years after my dad had died, I had a really sad dream. When I woke up, I wrote this very dark poem and left it in his antique metal box until now, 19 years later.

Dad's dead
It's been five years
Still
He comes to me at night
My chest hurts so
Why can't I tell them?
Why must no one know?
My sister comes
He turns and runs across the moor
so she won't see
I wake
and cry
and cry
and cry
Cause Dad's dead.

- Daphne

Knitting

I'm knitting a white blanket with little hearts all over it for my new grand-baby due in May. I've made many mistakes in it, but my mother would have said - that's life. So true. The local knitting expert here said "they're not mistakes, they're features". I like that.

This is the second white blanket I have knit. The first one, over eight years ago was for my first grandchild. I was knitting it while I visited with my mother who was then in respite care. She would stroke it and comment on the softness of it. I wrote a poem about that time. One person I loved was leaving me and a new one was coming into my life. I thought it deserved to be memorialized.

61 is just around the corner for me. My dreams for 60 fell a little flat and then I had a vision. I can't remember where or when it happened but it has had a profound impact on me. I saw myself from others eyes. Maybe I was viewing my own funeral, I'm not sure. Anyway the love and admiration was flowing and I was accepting it. That in itself is quite something. I had been bemoaning the fact that I hadn't accomplished anything of any great significance in my life and then all of a sudden I see all these people whom I have known through the years and they think I'm wonderful. Perhaps the most amazing thing about the vision is that I totally accepted the admiration and love of others. All my barriers were down. I actually allowed myself to feel it. When it was over, I had changed. I see now that my whole life has had great significance. God made me and He has been working in and through me all along. I can't go back under that shadow of self-doubt and recriminations.

Recently I was visiting with a terrific woman who is a budding artist. She had accomplished much already but I could see that she was under the shadow of self-doubt. I could hardly believe it as I considered her so talented and just a great person. I didn't say it but I thought to myself - she needs a vision.

A new look...

I know, I know, it's been a while. Today, I decided that I would put a new look on the blog...let me know what you think. As I said in a previous posting, I have decided to use this blog for my own benefit as well as anyone who wants to join or comment.

I have decided to join a gym.....and it's amazing how many ladies of our age are doing the same thing. The gym is a ladies only gym and just comfortably busy, with lots of ages, shapes and sizes to make the intimidation of a large gym with hard bodies and slim women non-existent. It has all the equipment and I sucked it up and had a session with a personal trainer to get started. It has worked really well....mind you, I'm only 3 sessions in but the only downside that I can see, is that with the music they have blaring out of the speakers, my MP3 player has to be at almost full volume!! However, I get to listen to my classical music station and am finding it quite enjoyable. Hopefully the gym sessions will improve my sleeping habits....which haven't been too good of late.

The Olympics have been keeping me interested...although I just can't allow myself to spend the entire day in front of the TV....as tempting as it might be. So I have done some picking and choosing with my favourite being the figure skating of course. I would dearly love to watch the hockey, but I get so up tight that it's just no fun. So I scoot downstairs and putter and then whenever DH cheers I switch to CTV on my computer and watch for a short time and then go back to whatever I was doing. When the score is to our benefit and nearing the end of the game where in all likelihood they will win, then I come back upstairs and watch the end in order to do the "high five" with DH!!

Well...for now, that's it. I know, it's not overly inspiring...but give me time. I'm finding enjoyment in reading other blogs, some weight loss, some cooking and some just very interesting. It can take up a lot of time ....but it's definitely fun time!!....and besides...don't have I have just all the time in the world???? :-)

Slainte!!